your secrets are safe with me.

when the world is not going your way, there's always retail therapy and God(: at least for me, it works!

work has been exhausting for me and im dying of fatigue, frustration, and probably misery for the past few days. i've never had the experience of being scolded by two parties when they should be scolding each other. everything is so so shitty i just feel like collapsing in the middle of everything just to make it stop.

but yes, i still need the ka ching for my extravagrant lifestyle, and i need to fill up my time.

i wish school will start soon!

this is my 100th post.

i never ever thought my habit of blogging would last that long, cux i'm usually a person who pursues things in the heat of the moment and my interests never last long at all ( unless i'm forced to)

but yes, this (probably) marks the beginning of a more mature me, perhaps?

i don't know

i've been thinking about my friends and my friendship with them and it's really getting complicated. friendships really matter a lot and i put an effort into maintaining them, but sometimes i think, is it worth it to go through so much trouble just to maintain these friendships when it's not as valuable they are to them as they are to me?

And are friendships truly unconditonal? there may be, but both parties need to be giving this unconditional love at the same time. for if there isn't any reciprocal of niceness(not hypocrisy) in any one party, i don't think there is any way to have a friendship, let alone maintain one. or rather, i can't, cux it's just too difficult for me.

maybe that's why im struggling with the fact that i may not matter to them, but they matter to me too much for my own comfort.

even if u have faith the size of a mustard seed, and you ask the mountain to move from here to there, it will move.

you gotta have faith!
although i learnt this from a religious source( just on sunday), i think this applies everywhere we go.
sometimes the world is just lacking a bit of faith. everyone has their suspicions, self doubt and so little faith in them. it's not hard to see why, knowing how unpredictable everything is. yours truly falls into this category of cynicism too.

But, why make the world a harder place than it already is? pessimism is so exhausting and so negative, it drives out all the motivation in you, no?

have a little faith, in the world, in you, in the future and life will be so much more bearable.

im just super irritated!

i quarrelled with my sister over the stupid japan trip ( i asked her to book tics first and she said do itinerary first and now no more cheap tickets)

she kept blaming me and vice versa. I KNOW its both our faults okay, but human instinct told both of us we had to defend ourselves this way.

argh and since im being in a bitchy mood. i shall bitch! i just went to visit friendster ( cux of the boredom, and friendster has recently gained my interest for dunno what reasons) and i saw a friend whom i have not talked to since sec 4.

she's the kind whom she thinks she is pretty but is actually NOT.and whats with the false eye lashes that she must wear them whereever she goes? they do not make u any prettier than you already are NOT. and trying to act all lesbiany does not get you good guys. and bad dress sense! she's already so skinny, and she wears this full sleeved, tight and skinny shirt complete with holes cut at the sleeve, looking like a transie. yikes.

argh! im so mean! i shall go sleep and cool down and be a better person tmr.

hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. how true indeed.

lol seems like im not the only one feeling bored!
hi becks and luce! my only taggers ( or maybe readers lol)

im really really bored all im doing is couch potatoing and bed potatoing ( if theres such a term) and eating instant everything cux im just plain lazy to go out

im so sluggish i cant stand myself. shall temporary blame it on my hamsterish looking cheeks for not willing to go out ( in case i embarrass myself for being mistaken as a giant genetically modified hamster)

so not funny.

3L rocks! lol maybe im just celebrating the annivesary of the 3lame people of sixoh.

and speaking of which, wth happened to sixoh and astatine!?!?! everyones too preoccupied in their own lives to yoke together and share their lives with each other, and i do admit that im guilty of that too. but like your efforts to bring everyone together isnt recognised at all so its like zzzz.

and some people are just plain irritating cux they think they are the world and everyone must bow to them

'i must see if i'm too lazy to wake up tomorrow and i must see if the alamac says its good for me to go out' ( this is an exaggerated version, no one does this anymore, at least i think)

i mean like ???!?!!!?!! i cant cater for everyone you know, cant everyone compromise a bit and go for that extra mile to meet up and catch up with old friends? diva attitude is not welcomed at all thankyouverymuch. and be nice! we are all doing a favour here, the least one can do is to be grateful right?

exasperation. arghhh.

im sorry for being in a complaining mood today! i know i've ranted about that before, but i'm just ranting again cux it didnt happen once but twice already! aiya.

and i wasnt in a complaining mood! but my friend called me and started ranting off ( cux we were soooo boredd) and that set me off lol.

i look very much like a hamster now ( you know, the one which stores food in its cheeks)
LOL not like i dont look like one normally, but like, 10 times magnified!
anw the surgery was okay! haha it wasnt that bad, just that i had a very good one hours sleep while the surgeons extracted my teeth((: i just have a craving for wantan mee and chicken rice! yummmm shall be a good girl and wait till next week to eat my favourite foods!
meanwhile since im so free, shall post a few pictures! ((:



THE BIRTHDAY CAKE ( it doesnt taste as yummy as it looks)
MY NEPHEW: hes as cute as he looks!
my (ex) mugger mates cux now we dont mug together anymore! at kennys with mac and cheese and yummy mash potato!
the 3/4 completed ferris wheel! coolios
me and my besties celiney and christina

i think i twisted my arm while evading the needle.
omg i think i SOUND LIKE a bimbo ( ahem not am one thankyouverymuch)
yes.

so why does the taxi driver think im one? he seems to think that he can go one bloody big round around serangoon and i wont realise? seriously wth, i mean argh its so frustrating. even if times are hard, why do you want to compromise your integrity to earn just that 2 bucks more! i hate cabs! )):

sometimes it's not really about acting dumb, but really more about feigning ignorance because the fear of the truth and our weaknesses out in the open puts us at a vulnerable position, so i'd rather not know. i don't like getting hurt, so i dont tell people what im thinking inside. i can be the ears for the world, but i can't be one doing the talking. i don't know, im just a very insecure person( even if i may not seem to be one) it's a self preservation thing, you know.

disclaimer: not for the faint hearted ( like me)

like seriously, i thought: how bad can a blood test be? i mean, it's not like im undergoing some invasive surgery, it's just a small teeny needle.. right?

but the worse part came when the stupid nurse couldnt find my vein and kept poking me in all directions... i don't know why, it wasnt extremely painful, but i just kept crying and crying profusely.. probably cux i was already feeling insecure about going alone to take a blood test ( despite the brave front i gave my mom-- if my sister could do it herself, surely i could rise to the occassion too-- i kinda regretted doing this by myself when i stepped into the lab). it was just so difficult to remain calm when you know someone's going to inflict pain( somewhat) on you.

and i know i didnt make the whole thing easy for the nurse; she was trying to hold still my hand while i tried to evade the needle, but i couldn't control myself because it was sheer instinct. it seems like im making a mountain out of a molehill, which i probably am cux there's like a billion people out there who have gone through worse things like cancer and whatever it is.

yet when you fear, the emotions you feel get magnified by a thousand times more, and you finally understand why you cry so much inside.

uni applications

they are probably the most tiresome thing i ever did. i'm totally frustrated and exhausted by the whole thing. but probably its my own fault)): CUX I LOST THE PIN NUMBER which i thought i would never ever need it so i decided i could throw it around and ta-da! led to my misery yesterday trying to find it. in d end i managed to apply nus w/o the pin number and i sent my documents today!

rather proud of myself, actually.

but i hate the fact that i do things so last minute and i have no clue what to do, and the best thing is, i ask around and EVERYONE GIVES ME A DIFFERENT ANS. so the more confused i became. but anw i decided to be ks like all singaporeans are and thus all the way to clementi i travelled to give my certs and stuff.

and went to vivo with pammy and jas (separately). i bought a cream top and got my birkies from clementine so im a happy girl!

but sigh poor me is broke now. howwwwwwwww. luckily theres only two birthdays coming up or else im gg to eat grass already.)):