your secrets are safe with me.

i cried on the bus today.

I wanted to cry at the LT5 when i felt like half the people in the LT disliked me but i didnt. wanted to cry when i recieve evelyn's message yet i didn't. wanted to cry when i stood outside opposite HC bus stop contemplating to go back and burden my classmates with my troubles, yet i didn't. I didn't want to cry when i was on bus 170, but the tears came down shamelessly when no one was looking.

what the hell.

sicksicksick. argh. my nose is dropping and im about to cough my lungs out. its the fourth day of my flu why am i not getting well. haiss. urgh for the past 4 days i had to drink some disgusting chrysanthemum and ginseng mixture(with no sugar!!!) which totally sucks like anything lah.. so bitter can.. but okay it does help my cough... hopefully tmr can go school and see ppl!!!((:

ooh. but wednesday was quite fun... went to bugis V to shop with chris and we saw project superstar guys!!!! they were having their meal at this secluded cafe upstairs cux derrick gg NS on thursday!!! )): ANW junyang is really damndamndamn cute ( derrick needless to say) sighsigh. curse why wednesday no cam no pen no paper! bah. den came across a adiddas 'respect me' jac by missy elliot which is totally gorgeous lah! 85 buckeroos!!! bah. to buy or not to buy. that is the question..

Your dating personality profile: Romantic - You know exactly how to melt your date's heart. Romance comes naturally to you and is an important component of any relationship you have. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile: Romantic - You need someone with a traditional understanding of romance. A true romantic is a must-have in any potential date. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Romantic 2. Liberal 3. Big-Hearted 4. Stylish 5. Shy 6. Sensual 7. Athletic 8. Traditional 9. Funny 10. Adventurous

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Romantic 2. Practical 3. Outgoing 4. Adventurous 5. Big-Hearted 6. Religious 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Conservative 9. Stylish 10. Traditional

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

finally thought it thru and now i feel happier(: thanks alot my friends. sorry for bombarding you guys with all my nonsense. love you guys((:

on a brighter note! yesterday went mugging with strider mel and char at the airport... it was damn fun but erm slightly unproductive! haha but haven't been together out for quite a while already so its okay lah.. lol. took stupid james bond and bond girl photos in the middle of the airport. how not conspicuous lah. i think we really looked like retards. den strider keep wanting to take photos with me which i keep shunning and ended up looking damn gross. i know im so popular that you cant wait to take photos with me -laughs-. hmmmmsh doesnt that sound very very familiar??? seems like wad someone *coughs strider lee ming yew* would say lahs. i'm under extremely bad influence!! hai why cant you influence me with your brains thou; im in need of them..): must start mugging already i've promised myself so many times must stick to it! so tmr mugging with clemmie in school.. no more distractions!!!

to change things you need to change yourself first.

I've been lying to myself. To people around me who care about me. I've been telling myself that i'm not affected by it, showing my nonchalant attitude, but truth is it really affects me. alot alot. i feel quite hurt and extremely tired from all of this shit.. and i've decided i shouldn't let it bother me anymore since she doesn't care anyway.

i mean. when u give up on a friendship just cause of a stupid misunderstanding just means that u probably dun cherish it anyway. okay i admit. it's my fault but i've already apologized for the umpteenth time already and its a MISUNDERSTANDING for goodness sake. why can't you bury the hatchet and try to forgive and forget.. so you are willing to forsake a friendship for this trivial thing? i really cannot understand.. or maybe there was no friendship between us at all.

i think. you should reflect upon yourself about how your actions have affected many other people to care about her other than me. it's okay if its just me alone. but you make others who care about you and whom you care about( obviously not me) worry all the time.. i'm hurt by your actions. by the way you treat our friendship. by your evaluation of me just by one incident. am i such a person in your eyes. perhaps i am. i don't care anymore. your friendship was cherished by me; but i'm not sure if u reciprocate mine.

to charlotte: sorry dearie.. i had to do PW today so couldn't meet up!!! hope u're feeling better alr! love lots hopefully tmr can meet? shall msg u later((:

today went to SADeaf to find the HI people to do our surveys.. was really difficult to get them to do the surveys... one of the ladies even signed to her friends that it was a waste of time and persuaded them not to help us.. i guess the older ones are somehow more cynical as they think that no matter what we do, it won't make a difference to their lives.. i hate to admit it but there is alot of truth in what she said.. i don't blame them for not wanting to help us with our surveys cux it's not like we're dedicated to improving their lives? we weren't prepared to actually implement it so that they could integrate more easily into society.. to put it more simply, we were merely making use of them to do our project so as to achieve our desired pw grades isn't it? it felt so despicable to make use of their handicap so as to benefit us. bahhh.

if i hadn't had my friends, i wouldn't be laughing, crying and smiling
i would be just an empty shell, lifeless and void of all feelings.
if i hadn't had my friends, the world would be colourless
a world of strangers, a world without love.

if evelyn hadn't come to school i would not have laughed as much.
photos of sam doing funny actions wouldn't be taken
without the click of her olympus by her timely finger.
jiu shi ai ni wouldn't be stuck on my brain
and the tune would have remain unheard.
if evelyn hadn't gone to school
life wouldn't be half as much fun and laughter
the class less bubbly and lively
more empty and boring.

hahas.

if i hadn't gone to school i would have missed MT's cheerleading
if i hadn't gone to school i wouldn't have danced.
if i hadn't gone to school i would have missed KK's rap
about passion love and pain.
if i hadn't gone to school i wouldn't have seen bala dance
a chinese malay number meant for a girl.
if i hadn't gone to school i would have missed sito's waltz
for that few more hours of slumber
if i hadn't gone to school wouldn't have caught naraen's and chinghow's
scowls and frowns in a cow's grooming session.
if i hadn't come to school i wouldn't have gone currywok
deprived myself of a yummy meal
much laughter from taking candid shots
of sam making silly poses
hongwei's funny mouth twitching
and clemmie's perpetual icecream craving.
if i hadn't gone to school i wouldn't have gone to causeway pt
with my beloved classmates to shop
i wouldnt have seen the beautiful belle carpet
nor know that alyssa milano was the inspiration for my fave disney princess
lovely ariel
i wouldn't be made the target for 'shooters' who
just had to suann me throughout the outing
bleahhhhh
if i hadn't gone to school
i wouldn't love my class much more(:
don't you agree?