your secrets are safe with me.

3 salmon
2 tako
2 jellyfish
1 softshell crab
1 chawanmushi
1 tofu
2 salmon
4 mcnuggets
1 twisterfries
1 hotfudge sundae
1 small coke
4 slices of watermelon
2 tamago sushi

that sums up the things that i ate yesterday.... and i'm shitting all of them out today!:S:S:S
its already the second time i've visited the toilet... oh man my stomache feels like its going to rotttttttt. urgh. hate hate diarrhoea. im like shitting more than 20 bucks away of food.. makes me think that i shouldn't spend so much eating. its gonna come out as shit anyway.

but yesterday was really funNNNnn! haha and productive managed to finish my tutorial for differentiation 1((: went to airport to study yesterday with eve and clemmie cux we werent going back to our secondary schools ( refer to last entry for why).. did alot of stupid things and laughed alot! think it was worth two hours of rowing=PpppPPpp

just went back to sec school today... there's a familiar feel to the walk to school from potong pasir mrt station... the dog poo, the cars, the house with the bow wow dog, the st john's home with the funny old folks.. banners with politicians faces.. but there's another feeling i cant quite grasp... its as though i dont quite belong there anymore... the blue shirt the grey tie and skirt.. sigh. imagine an old school girl being asked to register at the main gate so that she can visit the school. i felt so much like an outsider. a stranger with no affliliation to the school or whatsoever. felt so unwelcomed that i decided to grab my cert and leave without saying hi to any teachers.

sigh not going back tomorrow. though i really really feel like it. but seems that no one really cares enough to go back.. i mean.. the spirit of teachers day is to give thanks and show appreciation to those who taught you? sigh i really dont know.

im beginning to really dislike some people in class. actually only one that i REALLY REALLY SERIOUSLY dislike. i mean. when you're in the wrong u just shut up can. stop saying spiteful comments like ' if you dont feel well, dont come to school and teach us and waste our time' when you dont understand the whole situation. if you're sooooo FRIGGING smart you can dont come to school right. why waste your time anyway. why do you make yourself to be such an asshole that everyone just plain hates you? and you being an asshole is just the tip of the iceberg but i shall not contaiminate my blog by bitching about you.

kk just realised i sounded really depressed! so shall blog one of my favourite poems(: its really sweet and actually there's a second part to it written by her husband but shall blog it next time(:

How Do I Love Thee?
elizabeth barrett browning

how do i love thee? let me count the ways.
i love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
for the ends of Being and ideal Grace
i love thee to the level of every day's
most quiet need, by sun and candlelight
i love thee freely, as men strive for Right
i love thee purely, as they turn from Praise
i love thee with the passion put to use
in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith
i love thee with a love i seemed to lose
with my lost saints-- i love thee with the breath
smiles, tears, of all my life--and if God choose,
i shall but love thee better after death.

time slips away
many things undone
so much left unsaid
will i have a second chance?
the day's a ending
all hopes vanish
The Miracle deemed gone
dwindled down to ashes grey,
nothing.
where are You God
have You heard my plea?
or is it mean to be.
a punishment
the justice
or a peace for eternity.

feeling quite affected by something now... sigh. i pray nothing bad happens.

today watched a extremely spastic video about intimacy and rejection and stuff. like hello its soooooo NOT realistic at all lah. girl meets guy, girl looks at guy, guy looks at girl and the guy gives her his phone number. and then they fall in love after a few dates( or it seems). omg lah as if such a thing would really happen in reality*rolls eyes*. ol wells but cant say i didnt have a good time laughing and being grossed out by MT pervert.. ewww.

had a conversation with a friend sometime ago.. talked about how difficult it was to find someone whom you like and who likes you at the same time.. it's so true. isnt that the reason why most of us spend half our lives searching for the one who is right for us? and maybe at the end of the day.. you don't find that special someone..you think could i have missed him/her? i guess when you think you've met the one for you. push away your fears and make a run for it. cux you'll never know what you've missed out. easier said than done.

where's my boo?

my hands are aching so bad now i cant even write and stretch properly!!!!! its the consequence of lifting like 20 PC monitors up and down.. i never hated a 17" pc monitor that much before..lol.

the day started at 6.30 when normally people would STILL be asleep on a weekend. poor me lah. had to travel from one end of singapore to the other. FROM SENGKANG TO BOONLAY arh... really can die lah. thats like more than 20 mrt stops cannn. :S see im so self sacrificial.. took bus to the ulu-fied student centre where all the computers are placed and started work!!! had to carry the monitors and plug them to a CPU to check if they were working... if they are we wipe it and take off whatever stickers are on it. IRRITATING stickers. they just REFUSE to get off the monitors no matter how much oil u put on them, wipe them and scratch them off. spent like 20 minutes on one monitor removing the yellow gross sticky tape that was attached to the monitor.. exhausting!!!!!!! but during lunch time we were rewarded by rocky's pizza which was damnnnnn YUmmYYYY.. managed to coop 2 HUGE ( and i mean really HUGE) slices despite my sore teeth. had to eat damn slowly but felt damn satisfied((: stomach happy i happy. haha looks like the convo i had yesterday was true!!! after 6 hours from breakfast i was sooooo hungry that i could eat a mountain :S okay exaggeration but you get what i mean.

yay got to know many new friends today! lol. finally know people other than hupp in interact club... the excos are quite friendly thou some of them look kinda dao.. was laughing while doing all that labour... den we played chenyujielong which i totally suck at because i can never never never think of the chenyu with the word.. but managed to redeem myself with one or two cheem ones ( at least i think they're cheem cause i have never use them before in my compos).. cedar has taught me well! rouying kaixiang weilong sihui yuxuan juliet jiaying hupp and wenling thanks for making today so funn! hoho. i remember everyone's name. am i pro or what.

my teeth is hurting damn bad now. i cant even eat soggy fries. sucks! might have to live on fluids for a few days... but got new purple colour bandssss so exciting! lol. the best part about my dentals are probably the fact that i can change my colour bands.. i lurrrve my braces! yay. most of the time anyway.

anyways i realised that i was too harsh on my previous entry.. i guessed i let my emotions get the better of me and just spurt out all that nonsense. it makes me think whether im really that mean all the time and that i just choose to hide it so i wont get ostro-ed. sometimes i really hate the bitchy side of me. my alter ego.

today something happened which brought back memories of sec 2.. being judged so wrongly by a friend whom u cherish so much.. again. felt like a stab in the heart. knowing that someone you care so much for actually views u as a friend who leaves them when you think they're too screwed up. i won't abandon you why can't you trust me on that? is it your insecurities that tell you no one's going to be there for you. or is it what you truly feel about me? i cannot fathom.

i feel like im going to explode any minute. to the person im damn pissed off abt:

1) please take some responsibility.
2) stop being a free rider in the group.
3)stop COMPLAINING and actually DO something about it.
4) it's time for u to wake up and stop being so selfish.

arghhhh damn angry. why are people like that.please stop pissing me off. im trying very hard to tolerate u.

lovelovetodae! though it didnt really start out well... was kinda grumpy in the morning... guess i might have woke up the wrong side of the bed or smth.. apologies to those i have snapped at or showed my grumpy-ness to...

anwww wanted to go Venezia to mugg after school.. yet to our disappointment, it was closed for renovation... sigh no choice but to downgrade to macs 50cents icecream cone :S hehe proud to say im quite productive todaY! at least i didnt sleep from 3 to 8.30 like yesterday ( lost track of time in my dreams)... did my physics DC and vectors bmq... lol was in euphoria after i realised that i could do one of the discussion questions which looked damn challenging. hoho. YAYNESS.

ohhh btw sito is my favourite teacher now!!!! he rox except for the fact that he likes to ask me questions which i cannot answer... (((:

i guess there are just some people u meet in life whom u can never get close to.. when you come one step closer, you always end up being further than you were before... and things just go downhill.. is it the fear of getting hurt that keeps you away? or is it the fact that you could never tell me things that makes things so difficult between us.. i wouldnt know. trust me for once.


p/s: ELC((((: charrox.

lol i see alot of comments abt the display pic... lol. its darn funny. din noe it could make out to be a conversation piece... anyways i like the display pic! its 4 girls hanging out together not being les! and hmmmm i haf no idea how come the girls' heads got cut off as i'm not the one who designed the skin (i would put in their faces if i had designed it thou hehehs)... and cux ' I look like that' thats probably why i din post my pic yar.. hahas. the girls damn hot (:

today's chat with lucy made me think about how i had miss being part of sixoh in school.. 5 months have passed and i've moved on with life but sometimes its just fun to reminsce abt the good times aint it? while i was on my way to bleagh tuition i was thinking about the fun times i had cheonging to lessons to coop the back seats of the classroom ( hmmm not the perfect example of a fun time but ANYways), listening to the girls sing cantonese songs and chinese songs and english songs.. counting the no. of classguys sleeping during lectures. lol. love u guys

yayness! my blog is finally done and decided on my layout!!!! been skin shopping for the whole week. weets! happiness. speaking of which... had my second interact activity today which was quite fun actually.. really tiring yet rewarding at the same time. ushering started first which i had to climb the stairs up and down like a dozen times so as to bring the incoming participants to their respective venues... OMG totally tiring!!!! especially for the unfit me.:S after ushering duties i was COMPLETELY exhausted... but still needed to take care of the kids. and what happens when u put a bunch of effervescent kids together with a friggin tired adult? a hell of chaos and mess!!! it was as if i was going to pull my hair out anytime soon. but after the day ended, it wasnt just pure fatigue that overtook me... there was also a sense of achievement. knowing that i could make a child happy for a moment. make her smile despite the blood in her open wound. make her trust me enough to want me to carry her. it isnt like i feel greatness or what. it was more like i was touched by her trust. its the little things in life that takes your breath away.

wow. i'm kinda proud of myself? have finally gathered my lazy bones to actually create this blog...its kinda fun actually.. browsing through all the funny blogskins and such... and now ive got a blog.. i feel as though i've nothing to say. at all.