your secrets are safe with me.

holidays have finally come! 2 months of lazing around! i'm sorry that im such a slacker but who doesnt want to sleep late everyday and relax rite:P playing with little kids, shopping, christmas, carolling(hope!), job(perhaps).. hmmm thinking of learning something to enrich myself! and to make use of my holidays... ol wells but looking at my state of laziness i dun think i should pin my hopes of finding anything lol.
i want loads and loads of classoutings!!!!! with my sixoh and astatine! maybe i shd organise.. but i'm always afraid that it would turn out to be like crap:S but there's no one who wants to organise..
watched the tiger beer ad just now. maybe its me being too dense, but i seriously didn't understand it at all. but ol wells. i think the main focus of it is jessica alba looking hot while holding on to a glass of beer just like every other commercial with huge hot stars endorsing a particular product.. BUT i thought fann wong looked very wrong in the zando ad... somehow there's this sense of artificiality in her.. ew.

had class outing todaeee. went to watch zorro which was an okay movie..didn't really like it but i have to admit that there were some parts which were quite amusing.. but a class outing isn't really about just watching a movie.. its more like a class bonding thing don't you think? so i really didn't mind watching it lah! plus the little boy was quite cute thou his face quite round! ol wells. but look who's talking lah.
i want to start gg for choir!!!!had a lot of fun todae singing to the tunes clemmie and net played.. and it made me think about the (few) good times i had in cedar choir... why the teacher taking so long to schedule an interview... SIGH! i miss singing and singing and singing! i'm glad i auditioned((:
its funny how transition makes a person change.. i think after first 3 months i just started keeping to myself.. i guess it's the fear of parting makes me feel afraid to get close to people.. but i want to change this((:

haven't added a single happifying entry i guess. but there isnt anything happy to write about really. but always look on the bright side of life... so i shall count my blessings..

• i've got a great family
• i've two sisters who are always supportive of me and advise me whenever i'm in trouble
• i've got friends who are always there when i needed them
• i've made friends whom i can confide in at places where i'd never thought i could have
• i belong to two of the greatest families((: my astatine and sixoh
• i'm healthy
• i'm loved
• i've God with me

maybe im asking too much.. but i wish life was perfect.

someone to come and take my pain away

i think im losing faith.
all that crap about everyone has a purpose. God's plans. i've heard it too many times to believe it anymore. what if there really isn't a higher power in the first place. aren't we taken as fools who believe in what is actually nothing.

i realised. no matter how much i said the class sucks. i still love it. its my class. my friends. i'll never fit in anywhere else but there.. it would never be the same without even one person. i'm afraid. i can't take all that emotional stress anymore i just want everything to be the same before. i wanna escape from reality. i wanna turn back time and make every moment count. but i can't. i regret. despair.

cry cry all my tears away
run from it all.
a reality i cannot hide
no one i can call

my heart breaks. my astatine.

worry, crankiness, anxiousness has plagued me the whole day.
promotion is probably on everyone's mind now.. who can and who can't.. i felt quite sad when i heard about who was on the list.. i felt indignant.. it's those who have worked their asses off in hopes of getting promoted who are in danger..
i pray.
kinda reminded me of my Os results. about how hard i worked but yet achieved those grades.. but well that's not important anymore.
i'm a insensitive pig. completely oblivious to the feelings of those around me. like the bus conductor when i snatched the ezilink card from him so that i won't feel so malu with the ugly photo. and the scgs girl who's studying in venezia when i was talking excitedly.

cux i had a bad day.

today is NJ's open day!!!!!!!!! aiya mux sound excited abit.. ol wells im not fooling anyone am i? so it was kinda crappy.. i was walking around doing nothing.. watched a few performances (choir guzheng band indian dance) gave out interact stuff ( which i think ppl didn't really bother to look at what it is for anyway).. but got to wear my cedar uniform which kinda smelt a lil like my cupboard but still as pretty and comfy as ever((: i miss wearing it. and the feeling of being in secondary school.. its not like i hate JC or anything.. but the feeling is just.. different. things were much simplier... and i didn't care about some of the stuff that i do now.. wishing time could turn back, don't you?

PW is so ew
no one likes it but few
when its done i go 'phew!'

dots. think too tired. a bit cannot process already.

today is a bad bad bad day. did i mention bad bad bad bad? yes. very bad. now i have one more person telling me how funny i look on some schools promotional video clip. arghhhh. thanks alot

"and i must once again congradulate u on the wonderful performance in the HCI chacha dance complete with crazy laughter "

bleah. once again im hating those people from sensorium vale who took me without my permission! i thought the maluation ended at orientation video.. but now its practically broadcasted to all secondary schools as a promotional campaign lah. talk abt publicity.

yay my mugging gang! love charmelstri! lol. think i look weird in my fringe.

today was kinda fun.. didnt regret coming to school at all!! yayness.. played lotsa captains ball today.. finally did some exercise after all that mugging and all..

and i became as red as a lobster!!! arghhhhh. why does it always happen to me. as if my cheeks arent prominent enough already and now its burnt to a bright red colour. bwahhhh. sigh with my new haircut it doesnt really help matters cuz now i look more like a kid..

sigh. think i might be running a fever after being under the sun the whole morning. just took my temperature. its 37.1!!!!! im weak and vulnerable:S hope it doesnt go up tmr so can go school. not that i love PW day.. just that i would feel guilty for being the only member not being there and everything...

i wanna love that will last.

promos are finally over.. hopehope can get promoted!!!! can honestly say that GP paper was sucky... expecting to fail actually. maths had some tough quesntions, i can say that i was crapping through econs chem and physics... sigh really really want to keep my subjects (think my hopes of getting Spapers are dashed).. after all that's what i get after working so hard last year!)):

saturday was xiaoyings birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE EAGLE! even though we were only together for a brief 3 months i can't imagine my HC journey without her((: lovelove thanks for everything my da jie da!!

saturday went sentosa with my mugging party.. pity no cute guys but still it was quite fun... despite warning him alotalotalot of times alr strider was still late!! argh. seriously feel like killing him lah.. i dun think there was a time when he wasnt late can. roarrr. we played bridge (satisfied my bridge addiction) and i won all but one round!!! lol. think the feng shui at palawan is really good! den read this book called how i became stupid while strider tanned and mel and char went pator-ing d: later met charm to buy pressie for sista.. den went to celebrate sisters birthday with family.. sorry char pangsehed you!!!!! next time pangseh me so i dun feel so bad!

if i continue mugging like that.. all my friends would leave me one day.. is that true. i fear.